Fernando carefully slipped the key off the rusty nail. He felt a powerful surge of victory. The Pleasure Mobile was as good as his.
Fernando's hands were shaking and sweating with the sheer excitement of finally caressing the stinky leather on the drivers seat of the Pleasure Mobile with his butt cheeks, once again. (Dertsiz)
"You think I can't hear Randy's little toy sneaking away with my key?" Asked Vera, a sound of amusement in her voice. (Regalia)
Vera, the bringer of pleasure and pain, unleashed her trustworthy whip upon the bearded intruder.
But Fernando was no stranger to the world of torturous sensualites!
He assumed the ancient manwhore fighting stance, and with his hands at the back of his head Fernando parried all of Vera's attacks using a series of seducing hip thrusts. (Doomroar)
"I remember a time when you were eager to feel the leathery taste of this whip" grunted Vera.
"What is the whip, if not the delicious tendril of passion?" replied Fernando, "I remember a time when you wielded it like a true dominatrix."
As he said this, Fernando caught the whip's round tip with the precision of an athletic eel and pulled Vera towards him. (Lioramst)
Vera twisted and pulled with all her strength.
The whip encircled them both and the two sex fiends found themselves tied together, ass to ass. "Is this what you wanted?" Vera spat.
"I have you right where I want you," Fernando responded.
Asses together, Fernando began to clench and unclench his butt-cheeks. Vera responded in kind. (Quick Bum Escape )
At first their battle was fierce, but soon something... strange... began to occur.
Lulled by the hypnotic clenching of each others buttocks, their differences suddenly did not seem so great.
They were soon agreeing to one another's demands without actually remembering what those demands were. (Space Lemon)
Vera and Fernando fell onto each other. Vera shoved her tongue down Fernando's throat.
Fernando held Vera's left buttock in a death grip. A perverse sort of grunting could be heard throughout the hallway. (Mr. Hand)
Suddenly a familiar voice turned the mood flaccid like a river of icy water to the groin.
"What the fuck is going on here. I specifically told you to bring the pleasure mobile to Manny's Crab Parlour an hour ago!" said Randy, "you better have an explanation".
Fernando didn't know how to explain the nature of their truce, but he did know what was coming if he didn't respond quickly. (Alejo Wierna)
Taking one last smack at Vera's ass on his way past, Fernando dived through the window of her office.
"Must escape!" he bellowed, as the glass flew around him. (Quick Bum Escape)
Lady Luck had kissed the tumbling manwhore's sweet mancleft that day, for the Pleasure Mobile was parked right beneath the window.
Fernando gratefully yet somewhat gracelessly flopped on to a gutted dolphin carcass which was lying unsecured in the tray. (Scrath Folchester)
Seeking refuge, Fernando slid sensually into the lusty husk of the marine beast and found it filled with exotic greases and lubricants, shipped from the most depraved and rapacious parts of the world.
"This must be the centerpiece of the South American Swapmeat they're holding at the Walrus Pit!" Fernando whispered as he inserted his pinky into the creature's blowhole. (Aaron Seabolt)
"I must have these!" he thought to himself.
Knowing that someone would soon be here to collect his succulent prize, Fernando acted fast.
He positioned himself within the carcass and after a few moments he was able to turn his ingenious hiding spot into an even more ingenious disguise.
Upon turning the key, the hiding place of which need not be disclosed, the Pleasure Mobile shuddered into oily motion. (Alex Whistine )
Meanwhile in the Grease Dome, Randy and Vera eyed each other with the deepest loathing.
"We have a score to settle" said Randy as grease filled every cavity of their bodies. (Joestradamus91)
As the two warriors expended their hot fury on each other, Fernando arrived at the Walrus Pit.
As soon as the Pleasure Mobile rolled to a stop, a crowd of gimps grabbed him and eagerly pulled the dolphin open.
Fernando was tossed onto the ground like an unwanted gizzard as the gimps began pouring over the trove of sundry lubricants.
Though slightly hurt by this rough treatment, in his heart Fernando could not really blame them. (Lurky Lurker)
A single, salty tear oozed down Fernando's greasy face as the latexed luchadors slathered the lubricants under each other's skin-tight suits, an erotically beautiful display against the sensual orange sun that could only be seen on Pleasure Island. (Thekidwitheyes)
As the flesh hungry gimps strove mightily to stuff every slippery orifice wth every available appendage, the din of their rapacious clustering allowed a bruised and somewhat humbled Manwhore to escape notice as he slithered like a hirsute python towards his malodorous goal; the terror of stygian moisture that is the Walrus Pit. (wmfivethree)
Fernando slipped between the folds of two heavily sedated walruses.
He let out a moan. This was pleasure!
The walruses, sensing Fernando's tranquility, let out their own harmonious moans.
Fernando wondered if he could touch the bottom. (Quick Bum Escape)
Suddenly he felt his nubile ankle enclosed in a vice-like grip, and was abruptly hauled out of the pit.
"We've got you now, you dog fondling piss-horse!" shouted the largest and sultriest gimp Fernando had ever seen. (Bob Mcbroab)
He allowed his many whorish eons of training to take over and began shouting every possible safeword and combination of safewords he knew to leave the slick beast flaccid and guilty, but to no effect. (Cuntiest Cat)
Fernando twisted around to watch as the gimps, now sufficiently lubricated with dolphin entrails, formed a circle around the Walrus pit.
He smiled in fond remembrance as they all jumped squealing one-by-one into the pit, he had known that pleasure many times. (Aixial)
Fernando caressed the muscular, sweaty leg of the Gimp that held him, and quickly pulled himself upon the man's back.
He snatched the large jar of rose scented Grease from the unwitting Gimp's other hand and poured the thick, sickly smelling mixture all over them both, attracting several of the more curious gimps that surrounded them. (Chris Sinclair)
The gimps swarmed sensually like a squad of squirming squids upon their leader, moaning and trying to rub as much of their bodies against the greased gargantuan as possible.
Being squeezed from both sides by greasy gimps, Fernando was squelched out onto the grass like a freshly birthed goat, and crawled his way across the ground to safety. (Stankloid)
Fernando made his way back into the Pleasure Mobile, stopping only to retrieve the dolphin carcass.
He couldn't stand the thought of leaving the sensual creature behind with the frenzied gimps. Fernando and the dead dolphin were friends now.
Once you have been inside another creature, that's it, you are friends for life.
Fernando shifted the vehicle into drive and drove towards Manny's crab parlour. (Alex Whistine)
Upon arrival, he noticed a sign next to the entrance that read:
"Forever banned for use of false currencies and destruction of property" with mugshots of Randy, Gooseman, and Fernando underneath.
Looking to his unnamed carcass friend with devious intent, he knew what must be done. (Does_it_work?)
Once again inhabiting the dolphin, Fernando strode into the Crab parlour.
The disguise worked and no one noticed him.
In one corner Fernando noticed a man wearing a hollowed out crocodile and feasting on a plate of juicy crabs.
"Great minds think alike, apparently." he said as he joined Gooseman. (scifi rice)
"I see you've found the dolphin filled with precious lubricants." said Gooseman.
"Undoubtably, you've realized the safe transportation of said lubricants was the reason Randy asked you to retrieve the Pleasure Mobile and meet us here, and you've taken care not to damage or lose any."
"Uh..." said Fernando. (Does_it_work?)
Just then Randy, flushed with post-fight adrenaline, burst into the crab parlour like an over-ripe melon and slammed $78 of Monopoly money on the counter in front of Manny the crab jockey.
"The crabs are on me, you limp-fisted jizz monkeys!" she bellowed. (wmfivethree)
Manny opened his mouth to release a torrent of abuse, but Randy leapt over the counter and quickly subdued him, like the true master of hand to gland combat that she was.
Gooseman quietly stood up, "That's our cue. Follow me." (ButtFlubberCannon)
As Manny whimpered and Randy grunted with mild effort, Gooseman led Fernando into the back room and shut the door.
Sweatily peeling himself out of the crocodile, he said, "Okay Fernando, you stash the dolphin here and I'll call the Pleasure Police to report Manny as a smuggler of rare lubricants.
He gets arrested and we take over the crab parlour.
All you can eat crabs at cost price for the rest of our lives. Pretty neat, hey?" (Plasmarift)
Fernando was shocked.
He did not care whether Manny the crab jockey kept his liberty, but to yield this blubbery creature, with whom he had grown so close?
"NEVER!" he cried, waddling out of the crab parlour as fast as the dolphin carcass allowed.
The sight that greeted him made what passed for blood in his veins run colder than a lizard in the arctic. (Wutzibu &Scrath Folchester )
Flashing green and purple lights flooded the gravel outside the shack.
The Pleasure Police, the thin brown line of the law on Pleasure Island, had the Crab Parlour completely surrounded.
"End of the line, you sultry shitstain!" spat Vera, soaked in grease from head to toe and bruised to boot. (Scrath Folchester )
Gooseman burst out of the parlour brandishing a fishnet, intent on capturing the fleeing manwhore.
Upon seeing Pleasure Island's finest arrayed before him he said "Fernando, did you piss off immigration again?"
"Hit the ground, bitch!" said the closest cop, lining up to crack Gooseman's skull with the butt of his shotgun. (Alejo Wierna)
Sidestepping the clumsy blow, Gooseman casually swiped the Pleasure Policeman into a nearby shrub.
With a chorus of furious yells, the rest of the cops raised their guns to fire.
Screaming "NO!", Fernando moved without thinking.
A cloud of bullets ripped through the dolphin carcass and penetrated the frail manwhore within.
Gooseman, who had already moved a safe distance away, watched with a mildly perplexed expression. Could this really be happening?
With one last shuddering, blood-flecked breath Fernando whispered "Mogambo..."
It was the name of a 1953 film starring Clark Gable, Ava Gardner and Grace Kelly he saw on TV one time.
It just felt like the right thing to say. (Ducknetar)
And, through the sheer power of Greasy Manlove that can only exist between a Manwhore and his Dolphin Suit, something magical happened.
The Dolphin floated away from Fernando's body, and after a blinding flash of light (and the briefest scent of lavender), the carcass was born anew as Crindolo, lost God of Sea Mammals!
Fernando opened his eyes.
His body was whole, his clothes freshly laundered and his skin scrubbed and exfoliated. (Long Rod Claude)
"Fernando, for all the 23 minutes we've spent together, you have met all the requirements of true friendship.
In addition to healing your wounds, I will grant you one modest favour with the small amount of magic I still possess."
Fernando did not have to think long for what he wanted.
"Please remove all the bullets from the Pleasure Police's guns." he said.
With an audible click, every gun in the vicinity became nothing more than an ornate club. (Long Rod Claude & Does_it_work?)
"It is done. Farewell, my friend!" Crindolo said, disappearing into the direction of the ocean.
Randy, having watched the scene unfold through a window, malignantly emerged from the Crab parlour.
Gooseman cracked his knuckles and grinned.
The brawl was fierce and brutal, but rather one sided.
In no time at all Gooseman was sitting upon a pile of semi-conscious, fat, mostly middle aged men.
Randy held Vera in a clammy yet firm choke hold.
"If I am not mistaken, we have just defeated the closest thing to a standing army Pleasure Island possesses." said Gooseman, "Which I think grants us certain privileges, such as governing the island from this point onwards."
Vera made a strangled sound.
"I'm quite happy with how this place is run already, with only a few notable exceptions.
The first issue I would like to address is Pleasure Island's lack of a charismatic head of state.
Fernando, you are henceforth President for Life of Pleasure Island."
"Seconded." said Randy.
"What?" said Fernando numbly.
"Don't worry, you're just a beautiful figurehead, you won't actually have to do anything.
Naturally I will be your First Minister. Randy, you are now commissioner of the Pleasure Island Police Force. Congratulations."
"Thank you." said Randy, who eyed the softly moaning pile of cops menacingly.
Gooseman continued, "Vera, you keep running the resort and whipping tourists or whatever the hell it is that you do. Manny, you are now Minister for Crabs."
"Really? Wow, thanks!" said Manny.
"I'm glad you approve. The duties of the Minister of Crabs are as follows:
You must provide any item on your menu to the President for Life, First Minister, and Police Commissioner at any time and in any quantity." said Gooseman.
Suddenly the terrible implications of his new job dawned on Manny.
"No. NO! You guys are all BUMS! I can't afford to feed you!"
"Well, I think whatever passes for a treasury on this island can be used to compensate you." said Gooseman.
Manny looked somewhat mollified.
"That's what this was all about, wasn't it?" said Fernando. "You just wanted free crabs. We're all just prawns in your sick game."
Laughing merrily, Gooseman dismounted the pile of cops and clapped his friend on the back.
"Manny, stoke the fires! My colleagues and I are hungry!"
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